The Viking Queen (1967)

Part of The Hammer-Amicus Blogathon 

 During the Roman Invasion of Britain, a dying tribal King (Wilfrid Lawson) churns his oldest daughter, Beatrice, (Adrienne Corri) and instead nominates the more level headed Salina (Carita) to become the new Queen in order to live peacefully side by side with the Romans under Governor Justinian (Don Murray).

 Beatrice is under the influence of war hungry Druid Priest Maelgan (Donald Houston) while Justinian’s Second-in-Command Octavian (Andrew Keir) also schemes to take over his Governor’s role. 

Unaware of the schemings from both sides, Justinian and Salina quickly - very VERY quickly - fall in love and plan to marry, yet face obstacles from each of their camps. 

When Justinian is on an away mission to quench a distant rebellion organised by some dissatisfied local traders, Octavian seeks power, burns down the Queen’s village and rapes her younger sister Talia (Nicola Pagett). 

Chaos ensues and Salina leads her tribe in a brutal rebellion against the oppressors. 

Will love conquer all in the end? 

Don’t hold your breath for that. 

 Now, I am not a historian so can only assume that all the details in this production were meticulously researched and that there is a reason why this film is called The Viking Queen without a single Viking in sight and why the ancient pagan Briton Druids worshipped Zeus and not their local Gods, but I can clearly see that the true star of this Hammer production was the luscious Irish countryside. 

Just like the later Braveheart, this is yet another example where the freedom fight in another part of the British Isles was transferred to be filmed in Ireland. 

 And as much as I always enjoy seeing the familiar backdrop of Black Park, The Viking Queen delights with views of Powerscourt Waterfall, Loch Tay, Wicklow Gap, Sally Gap and Kilruddery Estate. Local Ardmore Studios were also used rather than Elstree that at the time was becoming the new home studio following Hammer’s time in Bray. 

 The Viking Queen does have a dreadful reputation and maybe I am getting soft in the head but it ain’t really all that bad. 

 Is it worth a full re-evaluation? 

Probably not. 

But it is a suitably entertaining little time waster with some surprisingly sadistic flogging scenes, hints of rape, fairly large scale battle sequences (with Irish soldiers as extras) and sufficient enough tittilation (including a wet T-Shirt scene after a convenient fall into a river) that I was again suitably entertained when I rewatched this production. 

 A lot of the negative comments about this film are aimed at Carita, the main star, but for a complete unknown with practically zero experience she seems to have thrown herself wholeheartedly into this and whatever she may have lacked in acting nous she sure made up by convincingly steering a chariot and just looking appropriately glamorous whenever the occasion called for it. 

IMDb lists The Viking Queen as her only film role but according to Marcus Hearn’s Hammer Glamour book she does appear to have also had a role in the Lemmy Caution film Lemmy pour les dames (1962).

 Hammer introduced her to the world as their Finnish discovery in June 1966 in Les Ambassadeurs in London. It was hoped that her pinup appeal would guarantee a follow up success similar to their other pseudo-historical dramas such as She with Ursula Andress or One Million Years B.C. with Julie Ege. 

Co-Producer Twentieth Century Fox paid the newcomer $5000 in comparison to $75.000 to the more established Don Murray who was still primarily only known from his part in Bus Stop with Marilyn Monroe eleven years prior. 

And yet Murray with his American accent and leaden performance is arguably the weakest aspect of this production. He was also noticeably older than the female lead and there is no real chemistry between the two of them, yet we are led to believe that he had so much charisma that a simple tumble into a river makes her fall truly madly deeply in love with her country’s oppressor. 

 The charm about this movie is that all the supporting stars play even their most ridiculous lines with deadly earnest, thereby giving an enjoyable gravitas to a slice of cinematic hokum. 

Donald Houston as Maelgan is an utter delight to watch whether he demands some virgin sacrifice under a full moon surrounded by Stonehenge style standing stones or pleads Salina “before the sacred mistletoe and the golden sickle” to lead her people wisely. 

Next to him Adrienne Corri as Salina’s older sister, obsessed with hatred against the Romans and upset about having to abdicate the title that was supposed to have been hers to her younger sibling. 

Patrick Troughton is a revelation not because he joins in with an over the top performance but because in contrast to many of his other roles he actually does not display any eccentricities but instead comes across as a very masculine and heroic advisor. 

Every film automatically gets better with Andrew Keir in it and his Octavian is a tough as nails by-the-book Roman leader who does not allow for any allowances or leniency towards the people he had invaded and despises his Governor for the soft touch he repeatedly displays. 

 Directed by Don Chaffey, who had already helmed One Million Years B.C. for Hammer and would also be responsible for Creatures the World Forgot a couple of years later, The Viking Queen looks well but suffers from being a bit of a mess with regards to its message. 

Though Maelgan and Beatrice (just like Octavian on the other side) are generally being portrayed as scheming manipulators, when all is said and done given the way the Romans pillage their village when their soft-hearted Governor is absent, they are actually being proven right in their predictions. 

Justinian’s tax tribunal in which he makes seemingly fair but at the same time also totally random ad hoc decisions is quite a bit of a head scratcher and though the ending is surprisingly bleak and downbeat, it also feels incredibly rushed. 

 Still, I can’t hate a film where ancient pagan Amazons wear makeup that is as groovy as in this production. 

It certainly may not be one of Hammer’s greatest but this Boadicea-in-disguise is a fast paced slice of humbug that is more than worth a watch. 

 That head-to-toe black-faced slave girl, however…. 

Yeah, not sure about this one. 

MASK OF DUST (1954) on TPTV podcast

 Talking Pictures TV just posted their new podcast with the schedule for August and I contributed with a little bit of info about Hammer's racing movie MASK OF DUST aka A RACE FOR LIFE (1954), directed by Terence Fisher. 

You can listen to it from around the 55 minute mark.

The Unquenchable Thirst of Dracula

I swear, sometimes I feel this blog is like my own private Fantastic Four, i.e. an IP that once a year I need to keep updated so as to be able to hold on to it. 

Truth be told whatever little writing time I have I now mainly invest in my Krimi blog where I feel I have more to contribute as Hammer is a subject that already has so many good and incredibly well informed writers. 

Still, Hammer is one of my first loves so every once in a blue moon I may put virtual pen to virtual paper and write a few lines. 

The occasion this time was my discovery of Audible's The Unquenchable Thirst of Dracula. I had heard of this courtesy of the Facebook's Hammer Lovers Group. 

Directed by Mark Gatiss, this BBC production was originally transmitted around Halloween, on October 28 , 2017 at 2.30pm on BBC Radio 4 and is part of a series of radio adaptations of film scripts that never passed the pre-production stage. 

The radio play is based on a 1974 script, The Insatiable Thirst of Dracula, by John Elder (=Anthony Hinds) and would have been following up from The Satanic Rites of Dracula. At the time Hammer had planned a national talent search to replace Christopher Lee in the role. (This is according to Last Bus to Bray, Vol. 1. The Amazon sales blurb mentions that this would have followed Scars of Dracula and was replaced in favour of Dracula AD 1972 so what do I know?) 

Similar to The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (1974) where Lee had been replaced by John Forbes-Robertson, this production would also have been set in the early part of the 20th Century in Asia but this time it saw the Count having escaped from England to India. 

Another more famous unfilmed Hammer production, Kali - Devil Bride of Dracula, had a similar premise and was written by Christopher Wicking. 

According to Mark Gatiss Kali was indeed a later version of Hinds’ script. 

When The Insatiable Thirst of Dracula failed to make it into production as a feature film, there were discussions about turning it into an episode of the planned The Hammer House of Horror TV series that was to focus on feature length TV films per episode. 

Alas, this idea also was scrapped. 

 The Unquenchable Thirst of Dracula follows young Englishwoman Penny seemingly on a spontaneous trip through 1930s India after being left a bit of an inheritance. On the train she meets two musicians, a brother and a sister, as well as another Indian who hosts her when she can’t find a hotel on short notice.

 The two musicians are hired by the Maharajah and his wife to perform for them, not knowing that all this is on command of Count Dracula who has found shelter there and has the local court under his command.

 And what about Penny? Did she really just go there on a whim? 

 Hearing this dramatisation is actually an absolutely amazing way to imagine what this film may have been like. It’s very well acted with excellent and moody sound effects and the fact that this sticks closely to the original script ensures that its running time of 86 minutes is also very much in line with that of a typical Hammer production so it definitely has that classic Hammer feeling… which may indeed be one of the reasons why it never saw production as it is something that ultimately would have come a bit too late in a period where even Hammer themselves had started approaching more contemporary approaches to their films (e.g. To The Devil A Daughter) and The Exorcist had redefined the way genre films were approached. 

Still, I loved it and am planning to at least also listen to a similar adaptation of Alfred Hitchcock’s unfilmed The Blind Man.