The Traitor (1957)

I watched this movie for Christopher Lee and stayed for the sheer abundance of Hammer actors. 

 This film gives Lee yet another opportunity to sport a fake German accent and act opposite a number of future Hammer Horror colleagues such as Anton Diffring (The Man Who Could Cheat Death), Oscar Quitak (The Revenge of Frankenstein) and John Van Eyssen (Dracula) as well as Robert Bray of Lassie fame. 

 It was the first production to be filmed in the New Elstree Studios, a place that Christopher Lee does not appear to have been too enamoured with. In his autobiography, he remembers that he introduced co-star Donald Wolfit to Tolkien’s The Hobbit there “as a much-needed distraction from the water pouring down the cement walls, the duck boards between the stages traversing a sea of mud, the lights that didn’t work, the absence of windows in the dressing-rooms and the economies made on paint”. 

 The film focuses on a group of German Ex-Resistance fighters who meet annually at a mansion in England at the anniversary of their former leader’s death who had been executed by the Nazis. During this meeting, it becomes apparent that one of the friends must have betrayed him. Before the identity of the traitor can be revealed, however, they are also faced with some other murders in the midst. 

 This is a wonderfully old fashioned chamber piece in the tradition of Agatha Christie that lives by its superb cast and betrays nothing of the challenges associated with the new studio. A specially commissioned piano piece, Prelude Without A Name, plays an important role and the effectiveness of the movie is only somewhat marred by a gimmicky denouement that is out of step with the prior plot developments. 

 I watched the UK release which is probably the preferred one, even though the shorter US version also contains additional scenes not in the UK cut as per this review. 

The Skull (1965)

“Christopher Maitland sat back in his chair before the fireplace and fondled the binding of an old book. His thin face, modelled by the flickering firelight, bore a characteristic expression of scholarly preoccupation. 

Maitland’s intellectual curiosity was focussed on the volume in his hands. Briefly, he was wondering if the human skin binding this book came from a man, a woman, or a child. 

(…) It was nice to have a book bound in a woman’s skin. It was nice to have a crux ansata fashioned from a thigh-bone; a collection of Dyack heads; a shrivelled hand of Glory stolen from a graveyard in Mainz. Maitland owned all these items, and many more. For he was a collector of the unusual.” 

The Skull is one Amicus’ first horror films. Coming hot on the heals of their first portmanteau flick, Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors, this is actually a feature length movie though ironically based on a short story, The Skull of the Marquis de Sade, by Robert Bloch, i.e. the kind of material that they would later typically use for the anthology productions.

Horror films about obsessive collectors are a fascinating sub-genre that have very rarely been explored outside of Amicus where Robert Bloch appears to have been the driving force behind that niche (see also “The Man Who Collected Poe” segment of Torture Garden).

For The Skull Milton Subotsky co-adapted Bloch’s screenplay about an esoteric collector (Peter Cushing) who starts a descent into murder and madness when he is being offered the genuine skull of the Marquis De Sade.

Though the movie by and large follows the general plot of the short story to the point where certain lines of dialogue are even lifted verbatim, given the requirements of a feature length production there are added sections that are virtually dialogue free in which the film truly shines.

For these scenes director Freddie Francis managed to create some memorable bravura images that clearly demonstrate the cinematographic skill that would ultimately lead to him winning an Oscar. (Official Director of Photography here was John Wilcox.)

A Gothic pre-credits scene is bathed in a very Bavaesque light and depictures a silent, moody grave robbing. At one stage everything is filmed from the point-of-view of the corpse. It appears as if the corpse was lying in a glass tomb and could look through it to see the dirt removed from the coffin.

The film has lots of those strange angles and we often get to see everything from the perspective of the skull, a type of imagery that Alfred Vohrer was also very fond of in German Edgar Wallace Krimis at the time.

Long periods without sound or talk other than musical cues and purely visual imagery dominate this production that is also chock-a-block with little unnerving details such as somewhat distorted mirror reflections or bizarre camera angles.

The most famous of these scenes is midway through and could have been taken straight out of TV’s AVENGERS series: Maitland appears to get arrested and is brought to a Kafkaesque location, a large but mainly empty room only presided over by a judge surrounded by demonic statuettes who communicates through mute sign language and forces him to play a game of Russian Roulette, probably the most drawn out one prior to Deer Hunter. Maitland afterwards escapes through a maze of red corridors, and is threatened by gas and crushing walls while the skull is seen floating through the air. It’s a wonderfully filmed surreal nightmarish vision that vastly improves on the short story’s equivalent which features a rather more conventional form of torture by Iron Maiden.

The visual opulence of this production is furthermore highlighted by some of the most stunning set designs to be found in a 1960s horror production (courtesy of Scott Slimon and Bill Constable).

The characters all live in individually styled surroundings emphasizing their various collecting interests: Maitland’s library; an opulent billiard room with tribal masks; a phrenologist’s apartment featuring a range of masks and dragons as well as lots of books, crystal balls and skulls; the paintings in the shady dealer’s room.

According to Deborah DelVecchio and Tom Johnson in Peter Cushing: The Gentle Man of Horror and his 91 Films all this was filmed in Shepperton Studios “on one composite set which consisted of five rooms and a hallway”.

The Skull is probably the closest we have to a Cushing/Lee-Team-Up in which Peter Cushing plays a Baddy against Christopher Lee’s Good Guy though Cushing’s character is never inherently evil just involuntarily under an evil influence. (And Lee is not really a Goody, just scared and not-evil.) In actual fact the film ramps up the body-count in comparison to the original short story where there were decidedly less killings and none of which were cause by Maitland. 

The film is a major tour-de-force for Cushing who features in the vast majority of the scenes and often is required to silently act within the confines of a dialogue-free atmospheric scenery.

The only other two actors in this production with any decent screen-time to speak off are Patrick Wymark as a wonderfully sleazy procurator of artefacts and Christopher Lee as a friend and fellow-collector who first of all gets embroiled in a bidding war over some demonic figurines and afterwards wants nothing more to do with them. It’s rare that we ever hear fear in Lee’s voice but this is one of the few occasions where he is made to portray a man at the end of his tethers.

Also watch out for Michael Gough as an auctioneer and Patrick Magee and Nigel Green as a coroner and police officer, all three in tiny blink-or-you-miss-them short appearances that beg the question why so many reasonably well known actors at the time constantly show up in what amount to little more than extra parts at that stage in their careers.

All in all, The Skull is one of Amicus’ best productions if not even THE best. Though the studio is mainly known for their portmanteau movies, it required a feature length adaptation of a short story to help them properly unleash a highly atmospheric feast. Some may consider this to be a bit short on actual horror but for me this is one of the most intriguing visual treats the studio had to offer.

The ever-changing faces of Victoria Vetri

Or should I call this: The ever-changing hairstyles of Victoria Vetri?

Either way, I just happened to come across two of Vetri’s TV appearances this weekend:

THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.’s The Indian Affairs Affair still features her under her alternative nom-de-plume Angela Dorian.

The episode is the series’ Season Two finale and with its exaggerated “Cowboys’n’Inchuns”-imagery already gives a taster for the campy madness that was to follow in the subsequent season.

All of the Native Americans on display may be American but they’re hardly native. Even Illya Kuryakin joins in and dons a dark wig and a fake accent.

Dorian/Vetri plays Charisma Highcloud, the daughter of an Indian Chief (played by familiar in face if not in name, Ted de Corsia) held captive by Indian hating L.C. Carson who intends to drop a hydrogen bomb and apparently needs the Indian’s reservation for his schemes. (Don’t ask.)

Seriously, whatever happened to the hydrogen bomb? Isn’t it time we get a decent hydrogen threat again? Atomic warfare is so lame in comparison!

Much to her father’s annoyance, Vetri’s character sustains her student’s lifestyle by becoming a Native go-go dancer in New York.

For MISSION IMPOSSIBLE’s Squeeze Play she is back again to her more paler real self. This Season 5 episode is one of the shows with Leonard Nimoy and Leslie Warren in its line-up, both of which also have prominent roles infiltrating the hide-out of a dying Mafia don (Albert Paulsen, who had previously also appeared in a variety of other roles for MISSION IMPOSSIBLE) with the intention of obtaining his secret list of heroin distributors and causing an internal struggle in its ranks.

Vetri again plays a “Chief’s” younger family member, this time the grand-daughter who is pretty much innocent but has inklings of the nefarious activities of all those sharp-suited men in sunglasses around her.

Truth be told if the mention of “Angela Dorian” hadn’t triggered something in my memory I may never have connected her with the blonde-haired bewigged cavegirl of Hammer’s WHEN DINOAURS RULED THE EARTH. Strange that someone who has become something of an iconic figure in Hammer Fandom, should ultimately be so unrecognizable in most of her other performances but such is the fate of Brunettes who briefly become famous as Blonde Bombshells.

The MISSION IMPOSSIBLE episode is currently available on YouTube or Netflix US. THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. may be on YouTube for some…. but not for my region. I watched this courtesy of my fab U.N.C.L.E. box set.

Now I better be off trying to come across some more of Vetri’s TV work. It seems that due to her looks she was often hired for more “ethnic” roles and therefore featured in a number of Western series as well, not just 1960s Spy shows.

The Deadly Bees (1967)

A contemporary Amicus horror film directed by Freddie Francis, starring Suzanna Leigh and a wild eyed, over-the-top and eccentric Frank Finlay, also featuring Michael Ripper as a publican, with songs by Elkie Brooks (dubbing Leigh) and The Birds on screen with Ronnie Wood and a screenplay co-written by Robert Bloch based on H.F. Heard’s bestselling Holmes pastiche A Taste for Honey.

So what could go wrong?

 Actually not all that much at first glance.

Though mainly known for their anthology horror concepts, these always were a bit hit and miss and it’s therefore good to see one of Amicus’ proper feature length forays into horror. Not making this a Gothic horror production wisely set them apart from Hammer while at the same time securing some of Hammer’s key personnel guaranteeing a certain recognition factor.

Suzanna Leigh plays a popular singer on the verge of a mental breakdown who is sent off to a remote island for some respite. (The doctor who diagnoses her is played by a blink and you’ll miss him Michael Gwynn.) The vibes of Swinging London are represented by Swinging Cameras going back and forth while capturing a performance by The Birds (and the bees… nudge nudge). In contrast rural England is frequented by merry publicans, cheerful lasses, eccentric characters and a dysfunctional couple, the husband (Guy Doleman, best known as SPECTRE agent Count Lippe from Thunderball), a brooding farmer/bee keeper who keeps his raging emotions only barely under control and whose venomous, chain smoking wife (Catherine Finn, Michael Ripper’s wife in real life) never lets him forget who it is that has the money in the relationship and out of spite never even bothers answering the phone even when she sits right next to it.

Watching this kaleidoscope of 1960s genre characters is a joy but of course this is the first killer bee movie ever made and based on a popular Sherlock Holmes pastiche, so how does this fare as either a horror or mystery movie?

Not that well, is the short answer……

The only thing frightful about the killer bee attacks is how awful they look. Given that Freddie Francis was a future Academy Award winning cinematographer it is surprising how bland the production looked. The bee attacks in particular are badly process shot in slow motion while the actors were flailing wildly with plastic insects of a kind stuck to their faces.

And for a mystery there really is very little of that. We only ever have two suspects for being the mastermind behind the bee attacks and one of them is so blatantly obviously suspected by just about everyone that the real killer simply must be the other one.

Given that this is an adaptation of a popular book it is surprising to see how much Amicus didn’t even bother with the novel’s main attraction: the fact that its hero, Mr Mycroft, is a very thinly disguised Sherlock Holmes enjoying his retirement as a rural bee-keeper!

In the movie there is no reference to either Holmes or Mycroft or indeed the male Watson substitute and book’s narrator. It appears that in Bloch’s original version of the screenplay these references were much clearer. Bloch had seemingly envisaged Christopher Lee and Boris Karloff in the main parts. Amicus and/or Freddie Francis, however, took a dislike to Bloch’s concept and changed it further on leaving only the barest hints of its initial source idea.

Still, this may be both a failed mystery and horror thriller and at the time those aspects may have been the primary reason for it being critically dismissed. Nearly 50 years after the movie first hit the cinema screens, however, the then current horror flick has started carrying a patina that easily masks its short comings.

For me it will always be a pleasure to watch Michael Ripper behind a bar and encountering a range of off-beat English characters as well as 1960s starlets, a trip back in time to a mythical England where animals attack and civil servants wear bowler hats. Freddie Francis may just be a journeyman director but he is my kind of journeyman director and the film is a very enjoyable way to spend some 83 minutes.

The Deadly Bees was sometimes paired in a double feature together with The Vulture.

 

Mountain of the Cannibal God (IT, 1978)

I recently discussed this film with an online buddy and wanted to point him towards my little blog review here, just to notice that I had a review online on my older, now-defunct Hammer Glamour site but that I hadn't actually transferred it over yet. The review is a few years old and I haven't done anything in touching it up.

Amongst the general public horror movies have a pretty bad reputation. Splatter movies are considered even worse. Italian Splatter productions will raise more than just a few eyebrows, but admitting to watch Italian Cannibal movies with their ultra-gory effects scenes and real-life animal slaughter will have you hounded by PETA and is considered by most to be just one step ahead of a snuff enthusiast. God only knows so what caused real stars such as Ursula Andress and Stacy Keach to appear in one of these oeuvres but I guess we all have our bills to pay. Both actors could hardly have hoped to expand their fan audience by making a film clearly aimed at a very niche market.

Andress plays the wife of a researcher who went missing in the jungles of New Guinea. She goes in search of her husband with the help of adventurer Stacy Keach and under background tunes of Italo Pop musicians Guido & Maurizio De Angelis ("Oliver Onions"), stumbling across the occasional tribe or two of cannibals along the way. Not much in the line of surprises so but then again a decent story was usually the last thing on cannibal fans’ minds.What is on most cannibal fans’ minds, however, is the quality of the gore scenes. Though most of the natives seem to happily munch away any chance they get, it is usually animals they eat. The actual cannibalism occurs mainly towards the end of the movie. One especially nasty sequence that is often cut from available prints is a very realistic castration scene.

Director Sergio Martino leaves no stone unturned when it comes to showing animal snuff: Throughout the entire film we are constantly reminded that this is a dog-eat-dog kinda world and get to watch natives ripping apart a lizard or a snake slowly suffocating a monkey. In an Anchor Bay DVD Martino was asked about the latter scene and commented that this scene happened naturally while walking past the snake, and that he in actual fact did nothing but hold the camera in order to film nature at play. Following this claim the interviewers then presented Martino with clips of film that clearly showed that the monkey was thrown at the snake for dubious entertainment’s sake. Somehow Natural Geographic never had to resort to these means for their documentaries. Needless to say after that stunt Martino will hardly be available for future interviews of the kind.

Looking at the bright side: Andress does have two nude scenes. In the second one she is covered in white paint by some of the tribe women. Much to the male viewers’ delight, Bo Derek a few years later suffered a similar fate in her husband's, John Derek's, adaptation of Tarzan, the Ape Man (1981). Andress had also been one of Derek's wives at one stage, so I wonder whether he closely followed her films and was actually inspired by Andress' stunt in this production.

Another scene that is quite memorable – though, of course, on an altogether different level - is seeing the lost researcher’s corpse with a Geiger counter instead of his heart. Andress’ "surprise" character twist, however, towards the end of the movie comes as no surprise whatsoever to anyone familiar with staple Italian horror fare. And Stacy Keach’s character comes to an untimely death, probably caused by budgetary restraints.

Overall, this is a film that finds it hard to please anyone: Too tame for cannibal gorehounds, it is still too heavy to please the average cinema audience who may have expected to watch a run-of-the-mill adventure story when coming across a picture like this starring two otherwise bankable movie stars. 

The film has repeatedly been released but to the best of my knowledge the Anchor Bay release is the only one uncut.

Sherlock Holmes: The Case of the Careless Suffragette

I am making my way through my Sherlock Holmes box set. I love this 1954/55 TV series far more than I probably should but it's a great little time waster and at about 25 minutes never overstays its welcome. My cheapo set has the eps in random order and after the Michael Gough show I have now discovered one with another Hammer personality: Dawn Addams stars in The Case of the Careless Suffragette.

This is an absolute howler with lots of hohumming about women's liberation. Unfortunately, for some strange reason neither Archive.org nor YouTube are carrying this one but if you're based in the US you can see it on Dailymotion (via Hulu).

If you're not based in the US.... well, then you have some tinkering to do. (Little hint: Proxy server. But shhh, don't tell anyone I said so.)

I also just noticed that the US has the only complete set of this series. My Region 2 set only has 25 of the 39 episodes. Guess I'll need to fork out the $6.99 to make sure I have the whole lot.

Zeta One (UK, 1969)

“Don’t Be Afraid/She Only Wants Love!”

Bootilicious semi-naked ladies in the title sequence and shwinging 60s musak introduce us to Zeta who is “all around you/yet not here at all” And in case we can’t spell, then the singer helps us out. It’s “Zee Eee Teee Aaaaa” and she’s “the feeling of love/from a girl so warm/but mysterious”.

That title sequence looks and sounds fab, but really doesn’t help at all when trying to figure out what the blazes is going on in this movie.

Apparently it is about Zeta (Dawn Addams) who comes from a different galaxy, surrounds herself with a colony of gorgeous babes and tries to take over our world, but in a good way or something.

A secret agent called James - no, not that one – Word (who incidentally reports to someone called W: Reverse that!) stumbles into the first scene all complete with a fake 60s tache and then spends the next 20 minutes of the film playing strip poker with Miss Olsen (Yutte Stensgaard). Now I really don’t mind spending such an inordinate amount of time ogling at this beautiful Swede in the buff, but still must admit that this hardly makes for ingenious script writing.

In actual fact it is amazing that any plot as feeble as that was chosen by Tigon who produced it to help set up a company to rival the likes of Hammer and Amicus. If it wasn’t for a bunch of actors and actresses who are generally better known for their appearances in Hammer films and Carry On style productions, it is doubtful that anyone these days would still remember the movie. What drove such a relatively eclectic cast to agree to appear in such drivel is beyond comprehension. Hard to believe any of them had ever read the script, if even there was one.

Following the strip poker sequence, Word and Olson jump into bed and Word narrates what had happened previously.

Y’see, Word (Robin Hawden) is the world’s most incompetent agent (not a spy, as he himself insists) and was ordered to investigate the disappearance of a series of gals from all over the world. Without really doing anything else but jumping into bed with any girl that crosses his path, he discovers that they were kidnapped by Zeta to be brainwashed and serve in Angvia.

Angvia is out in space somewhere, but perhaps it’s not, perhaps it’s right here in a different time scale or something. All we know is that it exists. If you think this sounds vague: Believe me, it is pretty much quoted verbatim from the dialogue.

All of that really is an excuse to see as many topless 60s girls as possible. How nice that the Angvians are generally not only dressed in the most cleverly designed topless swimsuits (courtesy of Colette Du Plessis), but they also make sure that one of their victims is a stripper (Wendy Lingham).

James Robertson Justice and Charles Hawtrey are part of a group of men who aim to capture Zeta and destroy her operation. In order to do so they’re not averse to torturing an Angvian. That violent, fetishistic torture sequence is strangely out of place in this generally more comic titillation caper. When they stage a Most Dangerous Game style (wo)manhunt, their group gets killed by the invading topless ladies, one of them being Valerie Leon. These appealing aliens have a superior power that helps them win over the men: They can shoot invisible bullets out of their fingers! Ever improvised a cowboys and Indians game as a kid with nothing but your empty hands as revolvers? Well, that’s the general idea in those ridiculous looking fight scenes. The term “budgetary restraints” must have been invented for that production.

Even the most hardened admirer of this film must admit that it is ridiculous to the extreme. It does, however, make for some titillating viewing. It’s a Must for Hammer Glamour fans: Yutte Stensgaard has her most memorable part in this film. The expression “Everything But the Nipple” (generally associated with this actress) must have originated for Valerie Leon in this film as she does display pretty much her entire body if it wasn’t for a micro bikini bottom and one of those stripper nipple protectors that display, well, everything but the nipple. Dawn Addams is the only lady who does not display her wares. The spaceship (insemination room included) makes for some fun psychedelic viewing. And, in case I haven’t said it enough, it also has Yutte Stensgaard. In the nude. A lot.

Robin Hawden, who played the stumbling and womanising secret agent, subsequently went on to bigger and better things, by, ahem, next starring in Hammer’s When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth (1970). He also wrote a couple of books, some which can still be bought from Amazon and Amazon UK.

Look closely and you can also discover Kirsten Lindholm as one of the Angvisa girls.

Up Pompeii (UK, 1971)

This screen adaptation of the popular British TV series Up Pompeii takes place just before the Vesuvius erupts and buries all of Pompeii. The very loose plot centres around a visit by Nero and a plot to assassinate the Emperor. Documents get mixed up, wrong people get accused and everything ends in pieces when the city gets destroyed.

The film - just like the TV series - is full of double entendres, cheap jokes and titillation. In actual fact, the entire first half-hour is one ongoing orgy joke. ("Everything is laid out but the girls... and the men will see to that.") All the jokes are pretty much in line with similar material from the early 70s such as the Carry On... series or Hammer's own adaptations of On The Buses.

Words cannot easily convey the sheer daftness of Up Pompeii 's jokes. If you’re familiar with the TV series, you will know what to expect in the movie: The jokes are pretty much the same. So switch off your brain, have a few cans and Beware! You may just about start to enjoy these outrageous Shenanigans. It's a journey back in time.... not to ancient Rome, but to early 70s Britain before everything became PC.

Julie Ege is pretty much the only one of the cast not sporting a Cockney accent. Come to think of it: Her thick Scandinavian accent is probably closer to the historic truth than any of the Modern English on display in the film. Not that anyone of the filmmakers really lost some sleep over historical accuracy. In actual fact: The film is full of modernisms: girls wear satin nickers, characters complain about the cost of inflation etc.

Ege received a special mention during the film's opening credits: A sign of her popularity at the time. She plays Voluptia, wife of the pro-consul, and apparently "she has the makings of a pro, too." Although not appearing nude as such, some of her costumes leave very little to the imagination.

Madeline Smith plays Ludicrus Sextus' nymphomaniac daughter Erotica. The first time we see her in the movie she's in her father’s yard with her Ex-Lover and we are reminded that "X is Latin for 10". D'oh! She's got a memorable, short nude bathing scene midway through the movie.

Some of the male Up Pompeii cast has also appeared in Hammer movies. Bernard Bresslaw who plays Gorgo, the invincible gladiator, is most famous for starring in The Ugly Duckling (1959) - Hammer's "lost" comedic take on the Jeckyll & Hyde theme. He was also in I Only Arsked (1959) and Moon Zero Two (1969). Frankie Howerd played in Further Up The Creek (1958), Michael Hordern in Demons of the Mind (1972).

The last scene of the film shows the entire main cast as tourists being guided through modern Pompeii. All act astonished at some of the erotic pieces they discover on the ancient murals, but their inner thoughts reveal that not an awful lot has changed since then. They're still the lusty bunch they were before.

The success of Up Pompeii led to two "sequels" of sorts: Up The Chastity Belt (1971) and Up The Front (1972). The last one again featured Madeline Smith.

A couple of things I learned while watching THE GIRL FROM RIO

OK, I am clutching at straws here with regards to the Hammer connection but, hey, wasn't Shirley Eaton also in A WEEKEND WITH LULU? So without further ado, here are a couple of things I learnt while watching Jess Franco's THE GIRL FROM RIO.

• Tough guys get manicures. Though they call it a MANicure.
• It's OK to swim with a telephone in your hand. It'll still work.
• 1960s clothes are utterly vavavavoom.
• 1960s wigs not so much.
• When you film a nude scene you really should focus on the nudes not the vase in the foreground.
• Oriental style funeral hearses are totally inconspicuous when they follow you right behind but stick out like a sore thumb when not in motion.
• You better think twice than to jump into a plane with practically topless stewardesses carrying machine guns regardless of how friendly they might appear.
• Note to self: There is no new mask for oxygen.
• George Sanders could have done worse for a paid vacation.
• 1960s people didn't just drink J&B but also VAT69.
• But they did drink J&B!
• I can't find the city of Femina on a map.
• Suave evil masterminds read Popeye comics.
• Randomly pause the movie and you always get an awesome image.
• Sumuru's motto: "I don't believe in banks" was far ahead of its time.
• As long as you keep an eyebrow arched up and an ironic look on your face there's no need to be afraid of women.
• Even if they do sometimes put you into awkward positions.
• Being irresistible to men can be taught in classes and apparently involves mathematical formulas not just scanty dresses.
• It's possible to talk freely even if your mouth is tied with duct tape.
• Chinese water torture is for wimps. Real torture is being kissed by three girls.
• Especially if two others then decide to stand on your belly.
• Bare midriffs are pretty sexy.
• George Sanders with a young girl on the lap on the other hand: Awkward. Very very awkward.
• Nothing like a local festival to film crowd scenes on the cheap and make the budget look much bigger.
• So there is at least one movie that features Maria Rohm but not Maria Perschy.
• Yep, that's an SS insignia on one of the girl's uniforms.
• When coming up against girls in fetish outfits wearing Hawaiian style clothing is pretty... well.... emasculating.
• If you tie a girl up on a rack common decency demands that you leave her ridiculously large summer hat on.
• It's a bit hard to feel threatened by invisible torture rays.
• Blonde or brunette... Shirley Eaton looks great regardless.
• But the only one wearing green should be Robin Hood.
• If you shoot at helicopters, girls, then aim at them not the blue sky.
• Mini skirted black mourning clothes work surprisingly well. I wonder why they never really caught on.
• I really need to start reading Sax Rohmer's SUMURU stories to check what - if any - connection this film has to them.
• Jess Franco is way better when under the reign of a watchful producer.
• Harry Alan Towers just can't do wrong.
• Like it? Love it!

Michael Gough in CANDIDATE FOR MURDER (Edgar Wallace Mystery Theatre)

I recently posted some screen caps from Hazel Court's Merton Park Wallace THE MAN WHO WAS NOBODY. Michael Gough was also in one those films. CANDIDATE FOR MURDER features him as a jealous husband hiring a German contract killer to off his wife but the killer has his own plans. It's probably one of the best Merton Park Wallaces around and well worth searching for.

The Magnificent Seven Deadly Sins (UK, 1971)

The Magnificent Seven Deadly Sins is a comedy that in the past has had its fair share of detractors. In actual fact, if you believe most reviews prior to the Region 2 DVD release from a few years ago, you may even expect this to be a complete flop. It is now, however, possible to re-evaluate it afresh and the film comes off as surprisingly imaginative and even inventive. The most fascinating aspect nowadays is that the star studded production offers a glimpse of British comedy at a time when the older “Oooh, errr!” style antics gradually became replaced by Monty Python’s new kind of imaginative comedy. Whereas all the episodes were shot by the same director, they were in fact all written by a bunch of different comedic talents and starred people from backgrounds as diverse as Goons, Carry On and Monty Python. As such it is possible to clearly watch how one style of humour started being transformed into a more contemporary one. In a way The Magnificent Seven Deadly Sins is for the history of British Humour what the Missing Link would be for Evolution. (OK, I admit I’m probably stretching credulity here a bit.)

Also of note is that the film was produced by Hammer’s smaller rival Tigon (Curse of the Crimson Altar, Scream and Scream Again).

The knee slappingly hilarious episode Gluttony features Leslie Phillips as an Executive for an international Health Food company opposite Julie Ege as the boss who invites him for dinner (and more?) up to her place. The humour of this piece is primarily based on the fact that Phillips is a gluttonous Gourmand who would love to eat anything but the company’s dry health food that he is made to consume at any given opportunity. Even when confronted with Ege’s charms, he is more tempted by her culinary promises as opposed to the other delights she's offering up. Penthouse Magazine publisher Bob Guccione also has a bit part in this episode showing him during a photo shoot with Penthouse Pet Tina McDowell. Monty Python’s very own Graham Chapman penned this script together with Barry Cryer and was also responsible for the Wrath episode.

Though Ege’s Gluttony is the funniest, the subsequent Lust is the best overall episode of the movie. Yes, seeing pervy Harry Corbett travelling around London and getting kicks out of watching Swinging Chicks of the early 70s is a lot of fun, but Marty Feldman’s script manages to land a vicious punch at the end that’ll have you not only feel sorry for Corbett’s character but also depressed about the general state of the Human Condition. Anouska Hempel has a small part as a Blonde Girl that Corbett tries to chat up.

The episode with the third Hammer Girl, Madeline Smith, in this film – Sloth – is easily the worst and unfunniest, but also blissfully the shortest. Scripted by Spike Milligan, he is up to his usual nonsensical escapades. I know the notion of nonsense implies that it’ll make utterly - well - no sense to anyone, so if you’re into that kind of humour you may see your appreciation of it shoot up. It’s all about people who can’t be bothered: Marty Feldman bounces against a tree rather than walk around it; Madeline Smith plays the unsatisfied wife of a guy who is too lazy to, ahem, make an effort; Milligan himself is a tramp who prefers to starve than to raise his arm and reach for an apple. There’s also an ongoing walnut joke. (Don’t ask: I told you it made no sense.) It’s shot in sepia toned, rapidly cut silent movie style. All the dozen or so comedians in it, including Smith, appear for all but a few seconds. Blink and you’ll miss them. And you just may be better off without it. If the only reason you were going to watch the movie was for Maddy Smith, then learn from the characters in this episode and don’t bother... unless you really need to watch absolutely everything she ever appeared in.

The remaining four episodes do not feature any Hammer Glamour, but are still chokablock with British Comic Talent such as Bruce Forsyth, Bernard Bresslaw, Joan Sims (Avarice), Harry Secombe, Geoffrey Bayldon (Envy), Ian Carmichael, Alfie Bass (Pride), Ronald Fraser and Arthur Howard (Wrath). Pretty much all of them are entertaining and tightly scripted enough as not to overstay their welcome. Pride’s tale of class snobbery on the motorways is the one of the remaining that’ll stick out the most with regards to the execution of general premise.

It is good to see The Magnificent Seven Deadly Sins popping up in a budget DVD release here in Region 2 land. It’s a half forgotten film well worth checking out. Quite clearly not a hidden pearl as such, but much better than you have previously been made to believe. Time to judge for yourself if you have so far only heard about it. [Wow, this reviews brings me back a few years. The film has now been on the market for the best part of a decade.]

Hazel Court in THE MAN WHO WAS NOBODY (Edgar Wallace Mystery Theatre)

In the early 1960s Merton Park Studios adapted a number of Edgar Wallace books for the big - or should I say: small? - screen as those hour-long shows got cinematic releases but were also screened as a TV series under the heading “The Edgar Wallace Mystery Theatre”.

Most of the episodes are quite talky and bordering on the dull though some are still of interest these days due to some of the guest stars on view. They sure aren't as much fun as the German Rialto series from about the same time, though I have long discovered that I am gradually turning into a Wallace completist so all of the episodes are fair game to me.... provided I can get a hold of them. They are notoriously difficult to trace and I have so far only managed to get my dirty grips on about a dozen of them thanks to a very kind Procurator.

THE MAN WHO WAS NOBODY is only the second and one of the most interesting films of the series as it features Hazel Court in unusual modern gear for a nice change. If you look at the screen caps below you may think: “How classily dressed she is!” Ironically, though, her character is meant to be an incredibly hip (not classy), boho and unconventional female private eye in search of a missing man and possible diamond smuggler. Look she even does Yoga! How radical!

I wish I could say this was a long lost treasure but it really is still a very talky affair with the added benefit of seeing Court in an unusual lead role far away from the Gothic parts she generally took.

STARCRASH lobby cards... as promised