Friday, January 28, 2011

A couple of things I learned while watching THE GIRL FROM RIO

OK, I am clutching at straws here with regards to the Hammer connection but, hey, wasn't Shirley Eaton also in A WEEKEND WITH LULU? So without further ado, here are a couple of things I learnt while watching Jess Franco's THE GIRL FROM RIO.

  • Tough guys get manicures. Though they call it a MANicure.
  • It's OK to swim with a telephone in your hand. It'll still work.
  • 1960s clothes are utterly vavavavoom.
  • 1960s wigs not so much.
  • When you film a nude scene you really should focus on the nudes not the vase in the foreground.
  • Oriental style funeral hearses are totally inconspicuous when they follow you right behind but stick out like a sore thumb when not in motion.
  • You better think twice than to jump into a plane with practically topless stewardesses carrying machine guns regardless of how friendly they might appear.
  • Note to self: There is no new mask for oxygen.
  • George Sanders could have done worse for a paid vacation.
  • 1960s people didn't just drink J&B but also VAT69.
  • But they did drink J&B!
  • I can't find the city of Femina on a map.
  • Suave evil masterminds read Popeye comics.
  • Randomly pause the movie and you always get an awesome image.
  • Sumuru's motto: "I don't believe in banks" was far ahead of its time.
  • As long as you keep an eyebrow arched up and an ironic look on your face there's no need to be afraid of women.
  • Even if they do sometimes put you into awkward positions.
  • Being irresistible to men can be taught in classes and apparently involves mathematical formulas not just scanty dresses.
  • It's possible to talk freely even if your mouth is tied with duct tape.
  • Chinese water torture is for wimps. Real torture is being kissed by three girls.
  • Especially if two others then decide to stand on your belly.
  • Bare midriffs are pretty sexy.
  • George Sanders with a young girl on the lap on the other hand: Awkward. Very very awkward.
  • Nothing like a local festival to film crowd scenes on the cheap and make the budget look much bigger.
  • So there is at least one movie that features Maria Rohm but not Maria Perschy.
  • Yep, that's an SS insignia on one of the girl's uniforms.
  • When coming up against girls in fetish outfits wearing Hawaiian style clothing is pretty... well.... emasculating.
  • If you tie a girl up on a rack common decency demands that you leave her ridiculously large summer hat on.
  • It's a bit hard to feel threatened by invisible torture rays.
  • Blonde or brunette... Shirley Eaton looks great regardless.
  • But the only one wearing green should be Robin Hood.
  • If you shoot at helicopters, girls, then aim at them not the blue sky.
  • Mini skirted black mourning clothes work surprisingly well. I wonder why they never really caught on.
  • I really need to start reading Sax Rohmer's SUMURU stories to check what - if any - connection this film has to them.
  • Jess Franco is way better when under the reign of a watchful producer.
  • Harry Alan Towers just can't do wrong.
  • Like it? Love it!


Blue Tyson said...

Well those are some great outfits - what the hell is this about? :)

Holger Haase said...

It's an adaptation of a Sax Rohmer story (he of Fu Manchu fame). A bunch of militant women are trying to establish a women only city. A real groovy production and well worth to check it out if you are into this kind of Jess Franco movie.