Beyond the f**king Rave, Eps 1-8

OK, I got a confession to make: I am no longer viewing the new episodes of Beyond the Rave as they come out. Instead I will every once in a while watch them in batches. I just can't muster enough enthusiasm about it. In actual fact I can't even muster the enthusiasm for a regular write up about this production. I guess with this film I will simply pretend it never happened and turn into one of those guys who insist that the Alien movies are still a trilogy and ignore everything that came after Alien 3 or the Dario Argento fans who would go on describing the Mother movies as an unfinished trilogy. I am perfectly OK in erasing my memory of this abomination and purposely not include it in my list of Hammer productions.

I was glad to see that Miles from the Hammer Yahoo group produced a fantastic review of the episodes so far and allowed me to publish them here. Saves me the trouble of having to do it. I think he is very much spot on.

Well I decided to watch all eight episodes together (1-8) to see how the movie's working so far. I watched them in HD last night. Though my initial opinion of the episodes 1-5 was very critical I thought I'd keep watching, since it was a new Hammer production. And after sitting through roughly 24 minutes of "Beyond the Rave" I found I disliked it even more.

I have 2 primary issues with it:

ISSUE 1. There's no character development. At all. And therefore no characters to draw you into the story. 24 minutes in, and I still couldn't care less about anyone.

ISSUE 2. The words inbetween the f**king expletives are pure f**king filler. They're not f**king funny, not f**king clever. It's so f**king bad I almost f**king thought the f**king actors were f**king improvising all their f**king dialogue. I f**king pray to f**king god they were f**king improvising. The f**king dialogue is so f**king aimlessly pointless that I'd have f**king preferred it if they'd f**king just f**king replaced the f**king script with a f**king barrage of f**king "f**ks" and f**king "c**ts". And at f**king times the f**king production moved perilously f**king close to doing just that - you sure can't f**king destroy great f**king dialogue if it 'aint f**king there in the f**king first place.

And by f**king "great" I f**king mean f**king dialogue that's f**king worth f**king listening to.

The heavy f**king expletives (instead of adding f**king character, f**king color and f**king humor to great f**king dialogue) seem here to f**king try and f**king hide (and ultimately f**king highlight) a deficient f**king script.
:)

So overall - okay it's free and easy to watch - and (this isn't saying much) is a lot better than most Youtube-ish webisodes out there. At least it has higher production values than your average "Kitten playing piano" clip. So on that level it is sort of entertaining. But for me not entertaining enough to continue watching.

Even when it is free.

So for entertainment value it's back to f**king piano playing f**king kittens for me.

Is it revealing that this group's comments on the film have declined in numbers as each successive episode is posted? I mean, if this weren't the train wreck it is, wouldn't we'd be joyously discussing it (the first Hammer horror feature in over 30 years) constantly, instead of pretending it didn't exist? Just a f**king thought.

Miles

PS

For those who are interested:
f**ks - refers to the word FALKS
f**king - refers to the word FALKING (detecting through use of raincoat and cigar)
c**ts - refers to the word CANTS (to narrate a stop-motion children's TV show about idyllic village life)

Just wanted to make sure no-one misunderstood.

Miles also made an interesting point about the music used in this production:

Music in "Beyond the Rave."

As I've mentioned before, hats off to the (brief, but obvious) James Bernard homage during the opening scenes of episode 1. Nice touch.

And I liked the Simonetti-Morante-Pignatelli (aka Goblin) "Tenebre" sampled/homage at the start of episode 8. Great dance track. And it's nice to have a Dario Argento connection (though a Hammer one would have been obviously preferable).

If only I had the patience to watch further episodes I'm sure I'd discover a few more musical nuggets along the way. But I've pretty much given up on the film.

In fact at 24 minutes in, I've given it more time than I would a rental DVD.

But if they ever release a CD of the soundtrack, I may buy it (as long as it doesn't bring back too many bad memories).

Thanks a million, Miles!!!

Beyond the Rave, Ep. 5

The new episode is called “Vampire Stripper”.

The teaser photo at the start of the clip shows a sexy lass in a military style regalia apparently ready to strip off.

You press play, are welcomed to a rural pub doubling as a strip joint, see the girl fully clothed, get your expectations (but not much else) up, yet before you can say “Santanico Pandemonico” we are dragged away into the most ridiculously looking fist fight scene between chavvy drug dealers in white track suits and hysterically laughing vampires. Seriously, this is by far the most amateurish looking part of the film yet. Imagine a bunch of school kids trying to choreograph a fight scene, and you get the picture. Well, also add the very same kids writing the accompanying dialogue.

Seriously, now I am starting to get annoyed. This better improve soon.

Beyond the Rave, Ep. 4

On the first release date for BEYOND THE RAVE we were, ahem, treated to three episodes. Going forward it appears that we will just get one short episode every Monday and Thursday.

The forth episodes concentrates on physically building up the stages for the rave in a deserted forest area. The mysterious Head Vampire is also in charge of the rave and pays a concerned farmer off with what appears to be a gold coin…. which would have been a nice touch if we could actually see it clearer to know what’s happening or see a more surprising reaction to this anachronism by the farmer or at the very least have been given any back story or idea why the head guy, who otherwise seems to have adapted very well to modern life, still resorts to this archaic form of payment.

Anyway, farmer walks off and gets killed.

It wasn’t really a spectacular way to pass another four minutes.

The main concern really is that there wasn't much of anything in it that we hadn’t seen a million times before. It really wasn't cut for serialisation at all, so what in other productions may have just been a moderate so-so, turns seriously abysmal here. I think in most general films the four or so minutes of Episode 4 would not have made a huge difference, positively or negatively, however the way the film is distributed forces you to review each episode as a separate event that needs to be judged on its own account and from that base there wasn't anything of any note to observe other than a very luke warm, bordering on piss poor, short clip.

Beyond the Rave, Eps 1-3

“No girlfriend. No party. No weed.” (Beyond the Rave)
No credits. No horror. (Hammer and Beyond)

Well, the wait is finally over. The first three episodes of Hammer’s new movie/Internet serial were just launched today and can be viewed on the MySpaceTv page.

Lots of speculation accompanied all the production news with most fans of the Hammer movies fearing the worst: It looked like generic teen pap. The title was ripped not from another Hammer movie, but from an Amicus production. Raves are already as outdated to current teen audiences as Dracula A.D. 1972’s “hip” lingo was to the then current market. And what does it have to do with anything that Hammer ever stood for?

Can’t say I personally ever cared too much about whether they would really carry on the heritage of old Hammer. I love their movies, but for the new productions I am only interested in whether this is going to be a good movie in its own rights. The serial idea sounded like something that could either be hailed as the greatest new Internet marketing idea in years. Or as pure crackpot. After all who would be interested in buying the eventual DVD release if they already had a chance to watch or even download it for free?

This morning the first three episodes of the series were launched. From now on new eps will be posted every Monday and Thursday.

So is it any good?

Errr, no, very mediocre average at best so far, but bordering on drivel.

For starters these eps are just around 3-4 minutes long. I initially thought we were talking about 10 minute shows and that some care may have been shown in actually creating a proper serial, i.e. shooting the film in instalments that lead to regular cliff hangers and have you gagging for the next ep. Instead the film appears to have been shot just like any ordinary movie production and was then just randomly sliced and diced for the MySpace upload.

There are no credits in any of the episodes. Given the short running time of these this may be a logical decision. It is still a smack in the face of the people in front of and behind the cameras. So Episode #1 starts off straight away with showing us soldiers on an exercise in a moonlit night searching a forest for something or the other and discovering a vampire sucking a blonde girl. Cut. One of the soldiers is seen being brought into a military hospital in Iraq. Cut to a month earlier where the very same guy has one day left before shipping to Iraq and decides to spend the day looking for a rave and his missing girlfriend, meets up with his hip talking buddy (read: speaking like a retard from the 1990s) and drives off in a car. Not the most suspenseful ending of a serial episode methinks.

Episode 2 sees them driving on and on. And on and on. And there’s a mysterious undertaker’s car. We even have a flashback within a flashback! Urrgh. That flashback really just shows cliché dance sequences that we have viewed a million times before.

The driving around continues in Episode 3, though we also get to know two cockney speaking drug dealers who seem to be rejects from a bad Guy Ritchie movie. (You know the ones he started making after the met Madonna.) Oh, and we actually have the first proper horror scene. Not much of a horror scene, but about frigging time. Two guys visiting a DJ in a pirate radio station (sure, another completely outdated concept in this day and age), let him snort some coke, then suck him dry in an obvious attempt to get high on his drugged up blood stream.

The best I can say so far is that I haven’t been completely annoyed yet, however, so far the film hasn’t displayed anything resembling proper horror, the dialogue is painfully “wicked” in an awfully outdated lingo, the story telling is shoddy and neither displays respect for the serial nature of the production nor for any basic film making 101s (flashbacks within flashbacks are NOT clever).

Guess I’ll be back for the other eps, though I am not holding my breath.

First Beyond the Rave review

Looks like the first Beyond the Rave review is in.... and it is from none other than Hammer's own Ingrid Pitt. In an exclusive Den of Geek article she describes being invited to the premiere of the new Hammer movie/serial and her reaction to it. Us ordinary mortals will have to wait until April 16 when the first episode will air on MySpace TV.

New Beyond the Rave trailer

A new Beyond the Rave trailer has just gone live on MySpace. You may need to register as a friend to be able to view it. Looks like the film/serial will finally be available from April onwards. The trailer's soundtrack is seriously annoying.... and at least ten years out of date. Let's hope that they may tone the music down for the film proper. Mind you, I did get serious goose bumps when I saw the blood red Hammer logo show up on the screen.

BBC news item about Beyond the Rave

Click here for a BBC news item about Hammer's new horror movie and the recent phenomenon of posting film series on social networking sites.

Beyond the Rave trailer... update

Looks like the official Beyond the Rave website now has a link for their teaser trailer... that links to a MySpace account for the film.... that is set to private and can only be viewed by their MySpace friends.

Is it just me or is that by far the daftest way to try and promote your new venture???

Beyond the Rave trailer... or not

I just received the following notice:

BEYOND THE RAVE!
Early in 2008 the world will watch as soldier Ed's nightmare unfolds in 20 terrifying episodes!
You can watch the teaser trailer NOW!
Hammer films presents a Pure Grass Films production 'Beyond the Rave'
Ed is flying to Iraq in the morning and he wants to have it large and boy, is he gonna get it!
After tracking his girlfriend, Jen down to a secret rave deep in the forest he realizes the terrible truth about the hard core party organizers too late..
Sex, death and bloodsucking rave tunes, 'Beyond the Rave' is a high-octane blend of kick-ass music and gruesomely enjoyable online terror.
ALL THEY WANTED WAS A NIGHT TO REMEMBER.
www.beyondtherave.net

Not too sure if I am doing something wrong, but for the life of me I can't see a trailer on the official website.

So I tried to google it and even though I still couldn't find a trailer I found this Behind the Scenes video from the guys at Movieweb.

Beyond the Rave

Adrian Smith's report from the filming of Hammer's new film, Beyond the Rave, can be found on the Cinema Retro web site. He worked on the set as an extra and also adds some additional info about the movie: Ingrid Pitt will have a small role in it and it's intended to be released not in cinemas or DVDs, but as mobile phone or Internet downloads. Not too sure how I feel about it, but I will keep an open mind and reserve my judgement until I have seen the final film (or should I say download).

New Hammer movie

It's my last day at the office for six months. It's the first day that I heard of a new Hammer shoot. Days don't get much better.

I thought things wouldn't get me excited anymore, but I am unexplicably chirpy after reading this exciting bit of news:

http://www.unofficialhammerfilms.com/news/2007/Aug27_01.html